Can’t…

…go to sleep now…I should though, worship practice in eight hours…man, I just started hiccuping 😀

The second time I woke up today was pretty late, after 10 AM, but after two nights in Studna, who wouldn’t?

Stopped working saying I would be a spare if things get reallly tight, two weeks later I get „promoted“ to a full-timer again…Meggi ended, no reasons told, no good-byes, leaving a place for me to fill up…what I heard, big fight between Mája and Meggi but whatever happened, I think she took it too personally or maybe she should’ve taken it only personally and not mingle it into her „professional“/ „career“ life. Anyway, it already happened, no reason to blame her again and again, the milk’s already spilled, just me and my attitude that’s gonna make it easy or hard to watch dead people bury their own dead right before my eyes. Most of the time I feel just so sorry for them, I want to tell them something but then realize that they’re drunk and won’t even remember a thing I tell them or first curse me and then forget about the whole thing. Another thing is, I can’t just start talking about their faith and my faith and all, the conversation has to evolve in a certain way to open at least a tiny crack for me to push in a seed of the Word of God. That’s where the problem lies, some ppl hate me, some ppl mock me, some ppl just want something and some ppl are just plain drunk. Then there’s me, of course, I (don’t know since when…maybe I do but that’s a long story) can’t talk to these kind of ppl without feeling an urge to cast away the demons inside, analyzing them and convincing that they have no future. Just wanna do something, make them open their eyes and realize that they have no life, no real life…it’s kinda hard to live what I believe in when I’m a bartender. I like serving drinks but I don’t think ppl need to go overboard, expecially students that suddenly feel sooo free cus they left home and their parents behind them and now they are the „big“ students living in the „big“ city. Oh well…

I’m going to stop now or I’ll never go to sleep, I’ll continue…later…

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